This very touchy entry will be centered around the debate and practice that is abortion. It is without question the most hotly debated issue at hand in American politics, superceding campaign finance reform, global warming, China as a growing threat…who cares, we want to argue abortion damnit. When I started this little bloggy, I decided I would not dive into the realm of politics too often and along those line; would certainly not force my opinions or views on controversial issues down the throats of my appreciated readers (I for one, do not like to be told what to do or think). That said, if you have any degree of analytical skill, you can decipher that I am a left leaning moderate resulting from a product of my environment; being liberally educated, living in the Northeast, and having open-minded parents. I really really do not really want to get too controversial with this blog, it is a fun hobby and I hope it brings some people a laugh or two, I just want to comment on the recent events in South Dakota and the future of abortion in America. This issue is far far bigger than anything I say forthcoming or the singular opinions of any of you reading. Just take what I have to say with an open mind and add it to your repertoire of thoughts on this very controversial subject.

I choose the title “Anti-Choice vs Anti-Life” in jest to the two officialsides of the argument, Pro-Choice and Pro-Life. They are just mind numbingly strange to me as 99.9% of the American public certainly would prefer life over death, as well as prefering choices over being told what to do. We all are conceptually all Pro-Choice and Pro-Life, correct? George Carlin once said that Pro-Lifers could be re-categorized as “Anti-Woman.” At first it seemed to me an overkill use of terminology. Anti-Woman? Then again, it is in a fundamentalist sense. Why shouldn’t women be allowed to make decisions concerning their own body? It seems to me is a form of “Protectionism” that has lingered over females since the debated inception of humans. It is why women weren’t granted suffrage or political capability until this very century, but with imposed gender limitations slowly lifting, it seems like placing another limitation on females would certainly be, as Mr. Carlin coined it, “Anti-Woman.”

I am all for morality, do not get me wrong. I do not feel I am an “evil” person. My problem lies with “moral crusaders”, whom try to project their individual morals and opinions on the general population for the “good of mankind.” Fuck that, projecting your own beliefs in a free country is not going to do anything else but initiate further conflict! I absolutely hate when people feel that they have the inherent divine right to belittle the opinions/beliefs of others without any justification. Have a warm cup of STFU and keep your opinions to yourself unless asked upon. I find it amusing that something like of all Pro-Lifers about 75% are male. Males who will never have to raise a child on minimum wage and without public assistance. These politically involved males certainly are affluent members of society without any firsthand knowledge of inner-city struggles. If Dick Cheney wants to say abortion is “wrong”, lets see him birth and raise a child without a trustfund. If he claims for the young woman to have an adoption, tell him to start adopting some of these said “crackbabies” or shut his mouth, let alone the lifelong agony of giving up a child that it would have on the birthmother. Not every ejaculation deserves a name!

Sometimes mistakes happen and we have a little egg get all fertilized and the sort (Usually followed by, “Lovemuffin, I’m sorry! The Yankees scored and I got excited!”) But very often, these fertilized eggs will be washed away in the red Sea during those, ahem, not so pleasant days every month a woman has. Does this make the Mother a killer? Technically, they did terminate a fertilized egg. So who are we to proclaim those who get an abortion as murderers? Because the cell is alive? So are cancer cells, and we don’t seem to have a problem terminating those little fuckers.

The child is meant to be born according to God. All right fine, debatable but acceptable. Then why is plastic surgery still commonplace and increasing? If God made us the way we are and how we look, should these same Pro-Life people not protest future plastic surgery operations? The Christian right tends to refer to the “sanctity of life” versus the realization of planet Earth, again noble, but does it really preserve our private self-interests? These same Pro-Life conservatives (And I hate to Conservative bash because I agree with most of their foreign policies, their domestic stuff is a tad sketchy, all right…off topic), these same righties are the ones who are so adamantly against homosexuality and the preservation of male-female marriage. News flash! Homosexuals can not have abortions! Why are they not advocating homosexuality ?

Lastly, abortions are the most prevalent surgery in America every year. If anyone thinks that making them illegal will curb their practice, you need to open your eyes and throw in some Visine. So called “back-alley abortions” happen even now as it is legalized due to costs or privacy concerns. These very unsafe practices involve coat hangers or even worse. These will certainly rise in figures if abortion would be to made illegal, which it won’t, I think. I would certainly not be against some type of abortion regulation because lets face it, there are people who use abortion as a makeshift birth control. If you choose to be sexually active, get on the pill or use protection, it is that simple. (Ahh a man telling women what to do , I hate those people.)

Sorry for the meaningless empty rhetoric in this posting, and all of them in hindsight. I write with no real purpose, direct purpose anyway. There is an underlying message to my madness, I think .

I said in either my 2nd or 3rd blog posting that arguing politics is essentially like chasing snowflakes on a sunny day. Everyone who is intellectually opinionated enough to have a firm opinion and argue a stance on a very difficult issue will certainly not change that opinion via argument. I also do not mean to offend any religious doctrines in which I’ve countered by offering these little tidbits. They don’t call it a very controversial for nothing. People are easily offended and it is difficult to show discretion with such a black & white topic. Put this into your brain bank on the issue of abortion and recognize it is a difficult stance, think longly about your opinion before you develop a side on this argument.

This article will pertain to the seven days of the week and the classification of them(1=Best & 7=Worst) on how I enjoy each. All right, I’m bored, here we go.

Sunday: Seriously, I hate Sundays. Everyone seems to relish the “Lazy Sunday afternoon” but it does not work that way for people in the real world making contribuitons to society. We have to work our meaningless jobs or do all the work we put off all weekend before Monday morning. Not to mention that all day we are thinking about the next day and the return to the daily grind. Church can be a catalyst for unexpected loops in the day’s evolution, postive or negative…if you go that is. I recomend a nice Bloody Mary to get you through the day and cross your fingers that it is football season.

Ranking: #5

Monday: Contrary to the common viewpoint, I don’t dread Monday as much as the average person. It is a return to our lackluster existence, yes, but at least it is to a degree a little fresh in that we haven’t been doing it for the last two days. And watercooler conversations are always appreciated discussing the hooker you got in Tijuana or the VD you picked up from the chick you met at Jiffy Lube.
Ranking: #6

Tuesday: Oh Tuesday, you slut. Why do I hate Tuesday you ask? Well it flippin is when you realize you are going back to the grind and will have nothing new happen to you from the weekends shenanigans. It is the most miserable day of the week by a longshot, everyone walks around like a zombie. You still have four days left of the week before Saturday and your once optimistic viewpoint has turned awfully bleak.
Ranking: #7

Wednesday: Ahh Hump Day, bless you. Wednesday comes, we are half way along! Things are looking pretty good, you are a little more upbeat and something always good happens. Think about it, if you can think of the worst day of your life, it was not Wednesday. Wednesday is a gentle innocent soul, like Buddha. I propose dedicating Wednesday to Buddha and not that scary little Addams family girl.
Ranking: #3

Thursday: Oh damnit, it isn’t Friday yet!! Thursday very much so is horribel in this regard, you’ve worked four days now and you get nothing, same old shit tomorrow. Bonus points for the plentiful opportunities to go out and ruin your life.
Ranking: #4

Friday: Finallllllllllllly!!! The week is over and you can put your whole life on hold for the nights festivities. There is no excuse for an unhappy Friday, look up Friday in the dictionary and you’ll find a fat little kid working toward an unavoidable date with diabetes robbing a candy shop. As happy as a person can be.
Ranking: #2

Saturday: In the show Doug, one of them fellas Silver Skeeter or Quail Man or Klotz whatever shifted the Earth’s formation and therefore implementing an eighth day of the week, Funday. Now lets be honest with ourselves, Saturday is as close to Funday as it gets. It is essentially a consequence and workfree environment and unquestionably the least productive day of the week. Bong hit or cut grass? Happy Hour or start your work for Monday (Psssshhhhhh) Saturday, bless your existence, your the gleam in my eye and the motivation for my weekly grind.
Ranking: #1

The following is an incoherent and illogical summation of last night’s 78th Annual Academy Awards, awarded for those who have displayed excellence in cinema. Jon Stewart hosting, Three6 Mafia performing, Jessica Alba presenting…. what could go wrong? So I curled up with my own box of Cheez-Itz and a two-liter of Diet Mountain Dew. I should have been studying for my midterm, but dude, it’s the Oscars. On with the show…

–I really really really wanted my boy Jon Stewart to knock em dead last night. I enjoy Billy Crystal, Chris Rock was average at best, and the smattering of host’s over the last decade who only held the gig for a year were well, there is a reason they aren’t hosting anymore. Stewart had everything going for him last night. A well known liberal brought into California to maybe ruffle a few feathers and take sides with the notoriously liberal Hollywood academy.

–That said, Stewart was merely above-average at best. He was smart, he was himself, and he was fluid with jokes and timing…but this isn’t the Daily Show. His opening was great with Chris Rock and Billy Crystal going Western frontier with it…Steve Martin and Letterman taking a quick rib, Whoopi Goldberg being herself, Halle Berry the subject of Stewart’s fantasy, and Clooney wrapping up the bit.

–Already two homosexual undertones thus far, 2006 will be the year of the “Gay Cowboy” damnit!

–I enjoyed Stewart’s opening monologue but he didn’t really seem to get the roaring laughs that Crystal produces. Best line was discouraging American public from stealing movies because these, “poor actresses can barely afford enough material to cover their breasts.”

–Supporting Actor goes to the favorite Clooney (Syriana). His acceptance speech was really well done and captivated the entire audience, more so than Stewart was able to in the early going. Good message about Hollywood maintaining an abstract and liberal approach to the world, and that mainstream isn’t an attractive option. As good ole Marky Twain wrote, “If you ever find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

–”I’ll take famous titles.” “The movie Gone With the Wind is based on this book.” “DOLLY PARTON!”

–Dolly Parton is singing about Jesus saving sinners. A short five minutes ago, Jon Stewart called Hollywood an “atheistic pleasure dome.” I love America…

–BTW, Dolly Parton doesn’t like a day over 49. Colagen and Silicone…a woman’s best friends.

–Ben Stiller will probably never win an Oscar, that said….I love the man. Sidenote: Stewart: “Well Stiller just proved he was indeed Jewish” Bazingggggggggg!

–Jamie Foxx is wasting his time, in my opinion, concentrating on music. He is a rare acting talent who will eventually realize his calling is in the movies. Great lookin suit.

–Keira Knightley is one foxy foxy little lady, and she’s Jack Nicholson’s date! She was nominated for Best Actress, for the 80th rendition of Pride and Prejudice, and has quite the career ahead of her in film.

–Sidenote: Jack is the absolute balls in Hollywood.

–Jessica Alba presents an award (Not sure which, too bsuy deciphering the LadyBug tattoo on the back of her neck). While she knows that she isn’t in the same league as the people in this room, she captured the most gushing on the red carpet. She currently is threatening to sue Playboy for using her on their cover even though she does not appear nude within. It is really a lost cause because she’s only about a year and another “Into the Blue” from doing nude anyway. Keep the faith men of America!

–Why are Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony here?

–Stewart: “We now cut to the very clothed, Rachel McAdams.” I’m sure most people didn’t understand this one either, which plagued him all night. This was due to last week’s Vanity Fair cover, which donned a naked, Scarlett Johansen and Keira Knightley. McAdams was supposed to be the third in the picture and was on set before deciding against it at the last moment. These three are arguably the most powerful young actresses in Hollywood and would have been quite a collectible cover. Somewhere a Lindsey Lohan throws up and does a rail of coke.

–Stewart: “All right, if you weren’t in Crash raise your hand?” Chuckles ensue on my end.

–Steven Spielberg is in the house for a Best Director nomination (Munich). Stewart: “Thanks a lot Spielberg, first Schindler’s List and now Munich? I wonder what happens to our people next!?! TRILOGY?!?!?” Very nice Jon, work that Jewish card baby. BTW, an Oscars without Spielberg is like an AIDS benefit concert without Bono.

–Seriously, why are J-Lo and Mark Anthony here?

–Heath Ledger has quite a facial hair thing going on.

–Memoirs of a Geisha and King Kong are really cleaning up in some of the technical categories. Somewhere a ninja and hobbit smile.

–Three6 Mafia just performed a song at the Oscars.

–Three6 Mafia just won an Academy Award.

–Stewart: “For those keeping count at home, Martin Scorcese 0 – Three6 Mafia 1.” Easily Jonny babies best line of the night.

–Flavor of Love Finale isn’t on until next week… damnit Vh1

–I’ve seen George Clooney about 266 times so far…and I’m starting to fall for him.

–Mark Cuban, Internet Billionaire and Dallas Mavericks Owner, produced Good Night and Good Luck. Neato fact considering he is at the Awards now and was at his team’s NBA game about three hours before.

–“Wallace and Gromit” Best Animated picture, surprise surprise.

–The chick from Desperate Housewives cleans up nice from her transsexual role.

–Best Actor goes to Philip Seymour-Hoffman, a Rochester, NY native, for his role in Capote. While I haven’t dragged my lazy ass to see it yet, everything I’ve heard and read has been phenomenal. There were some really great actors in this category this year, notably Phoenix for Walk the Line and Ledger for Brokeback Mountain. Both are young, both will win an Oscar in the future. Sidenote: Hoffman is one of the worst public speakers I have ever seen.

–The Academy has been accelerating the speed of the show by cutting off peoples mics, striking up the orchestra, and even cutting to commercial during people’s acceptance speeches. Note to the show’s producers, find other ways to cut programming time than cut off those trying to give thanks for vastly complex projects.

–Stewart: “Walk the Line is Ray with White People… Foxx knows what I’m talking about.” Laughable.

–Best Actress goes to Reese Witherspoon in Walk the Line. This is her third Best Actress award, previously form Legally Blonde II and Pleasantville. In all seriousness, she’s remarkably poised for having just won Best Actress, especially at her age. Scratch what I said about Knightley, McAdams, and Johansen being the best young actresses in the ‘Wood. Sidenote: Witherspoon and hubby Ryan Phillepe are going to produce some good-looking offspring, I’m talking Posh Spice and David Beckham good looks.

–SHIT, Grey’s isn’t on!?!?!?

–Best Director goes to Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain. Sure Keener and Ledger got screwed for their Brokeback efforts, but Lee gets his due, setting up a Brokepack sweep in cinematography and Best Picture! Woooohoooo! Could Spielberg just whip one of his Oscars’ at Lee during his speech, would this not be the best thing to ever happen to Hollywood?

–Best Picture goes to Broke… Crash!?!? All right…. analysis. While it is tough to analyze an upset like this with Ludacris and Sandra Bullock running around, this is not too terrible of a surprise. Crash was the movie gaining momentum and the one that “could” upset Brokeback. Set in Los Angeles, Crash offered something far more mainstream than a Western romance epic. What is with homosexuality in movies that I can not put my finger on? Crash was a decent movie, but nothing really more. It offered little intellectual substance and felt like a cross between Boyz In Da Hood and 21 Grams than a Best Picture Oscar Winner. I honestly took the Crash underdog story to be mere publicity to initiate interest in what would be a Brokeback runaway.

–If that was the point of the marketing, it was indeed effective. The Academy Awards took a 55 overnight share in major markets, certainly opening the door for Stewart to return as Host in the near future. Notably Ebert and Roeper, as well as Sir Spielberg gave Stewart rave reviews.

–All the Oscars really missed were Jay Mohr presenting an award with his client, Diet Pepsi, with the subsequent performance of their chart topping hit “Brown ‘N Bubbly.”

Now if we can get someone to please tell Jennifer Lopez that Maid in Manhattan wasn’t nominated for an award and kick her and her notoriously huge behind out of Kodak Theatre, that’d be fantastic. If only they could televise the after-parties, that 55 share would be peanuts!!