“Good advice is always certain to be ignored, but that’s no reason not to give it.” — Agatha Christie

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A few months ago a kid I know emailed me asking for my advice on a project he was working on. I agreed to take a look and try to give any feedback I could.

The ‘project’ was a business idea, a really good business idea. I gave him my praise and wished him luck. I also asked why he came to me, a rare casual acquaintance, for advice on something he worked so hard on.

His response surprised me, and I’ve been trying to utilize his answer since. He simply said, “Bouncing ideas off yourself and people close to you doesn’t yield good results.”

Weird right? When life’s big questions puzzle me, I would go to my parents, siblings, girlfriend, friends, teachers, coaches, etc – certainly not someone that is a borderline stranger.

It took me a little time to let his own indirect advice marinate but I started to utilize this new-found advice strategy, here’s why:

• Family and friends, while a great reference, will likely not give you too much negative feedback. These people care about you and don’t want to hurt your feelings.
• People you associate with often are usually people you like. If their opinions are overly pessimistic, you may harbor resentment towards them.
• Those you don’t regularly spend time with are more able to view your situation analytically because of an emotional detachment.

Seeking out those for your advice can be a little tricky though. Social fears creep into mind, along with not wanting to be generally invasive. To find the right people, try these ideas:

• Is there someone at work or school that seems particularly sharp? Send them an email or approach casually at the water cooler. Say something like, “Hey, can I ask you something?” with a smile or think about a smooth compliment beforehand to butter them up. 9/10 times they will be glad to help out.
• Is there someone within your social networking that is no more than a virtual friend? If the person seems genuine and well intentioned, it is very easy to send them a message or email them. If you get no response, no big deal, but if you do, they’ll likely feel honored that you asked them and be eager to analyze whatever you got.
• Know your audience. Some problems aren’t meant for strangers. Personal troubles are not something you should burden someone with. Similarly, you need a certain feel for this person’s trustworthiness. If you want to keep your advice a secret, be explicit about the non-disclosure. In this world of liability and lawsuits, it is not rude to request such.
• Don’t be fake. If you want help, come across as real and actively interested in this person’s response. Don’t be one of those people trying to get you to take a survey at the mall or a used car type salesman; you want this person to give you alternative constructive criticism. It will be very valuable to your decision, that I promise you, and there is nothing more likely to make this person disinterested than seeming phony.

In the open world of 2009, getting great FREE advice is easier than ever and not enough people do it, including myself. If you have something on your plate, consider reaching out to someone. I guarantee you’ll find some value in their response, and who knows, maybe you’ll develop a closer relationship with someone you respect.