Week 2 NFL Picks

"Yall gonna be tellin your kids about me!"

The NFL season is upon us, after one week you feel one of these emotions; panic, victory, disgust, sadness, or elation. Normally, I would tell you such erratic thoughts would be foolish after only one week of games, but this is the NFL. Every week means something. Take for example the so called parity in the NFL, bullshit. There are five really good teams, six or seven good teams, and then an abyss of suck. There are already twelve teams you can eliminate from playoff contention. Teams that are 0-1 NEED to win this week. Since the salary cap was instituted, of every single team that started 0-3, only two made the playoffs. Two teams. And they both lost in the first round of the playoffs. There is an immediate need to start well in football, so this should be a pressing week for any fan of a bubble team.

That said, fantasy football sucks, the Bills probably won’t make the playoffs (again), I may have been wrong about the Texans, the Jets scare the shit out of me, and picking football games with a line is not an easy task, that’s why they call it gambling!

Week 1 Picks: 9-7

Season Picks: 9-7

SportsMeister Season: 7-9

Sports Guy Season: 11-5

Patriots (-3.5) over Jets

I love the Jets, and they are at home, and New England didn’t look great on Monday night. But if you’ve been watching football this decade, you know Belicheck and Brady can clear 3.5 on the road versus the Jets.

Saints (-3.5) over Eagles

A tough game in Philadelphia only swings to the Saints (An early NFC frontrunner) because Donovan McNabb is out. And Andy Reid may not have properly game-planned because he was too busy dueling n00bs in Stormwind City.

Rams (-9) over Redskins

Seriously, how much longer can such a blatant racist team name continue? Anyway, I’m rooting for the Rams to at least cover in out nation’s capital versus an overrated Washington team.

Cardinals (-2.5) over Jaguars

The Cardinals need to be in full panic mode that I even thought about this pick. I, like most, was shocked that San Francisco beat them. Going into Jacksonville may prove a vital point in their season.

Falcons (-4.5) over Panthers

The Falcons at home with the return of the Dirty Bird and Matty Ice at the helm, what’s not to love? Personally, with slight bias, can we get Roddy White the ball this week? Thanks.

Vikings (-7.5) over Lions

Second week in a row the oddsmakers are dogging Minnesota. I don’t get it. A potential NFC champion versus the Lions, winless close to 20 straight regular season games. A note on Peterson; this is a really special runner. If he stays healthy, and that is a big if with his running style, we could be looking at one of the greats. Sayers vision, Brown’s intensity, Sanders’ agility, Walker’s acceleration, Peyton’s smoothness, and Emmitt’s instincts. All of those people did their specialty better than AP, but I haven’t seen a better runner do them all together so well since Bo Jackson. Guy is a STUD.

Packers (-9) over Bengals

I flirted with the points, but Cincinatti just sucks too much to root for. Do you hear that? No, not Gus Johnson’s lingering sportgasm from last week, it is the Green Bay bandwagon.

Texans (+7) over Titans

And here you were thinking I was jumping off of Houston already! Here is your upset of the week. For the sake of fantasy, I mean competition, Houston wins this one! Right?

Chiefs (-1.5) over Raiders

Essentially a pick’em game, I have no idea or any real opinion on how this one shakes out. Despite Oakland looking good last week, we know this franchise is more of a mirage than a real team. Take KC with the points at home, regardless of who is playing QB.

Bills (-5) over Buccaneers

Buffalo? A favorite? And I can pick them?!? YES! Look for Buffalo to roll huge in this one. Tampa sucks and I think TO goes for a huge game here. Side bet: If Buffalo loses, Jauron is out by Tuesday.

Seattle (-3.5) over 49ers

I like Seattle more than most, and I think San Francisco, while improving, simply got lucky last week abridging this line. Seattle here.

Chargers (+2.5) over Ravens

San Diego is an underdog? At home? Versus the Ravens? Check please.

Pittsburgh (-2.5) over Bears

Not sure why this spread isn’t larger. I’d be tempted at 6-7, not anything less. Big Beg takes the second city by storm.

Broncos (-3) over Browns

I’m taking Denver two weeks in a row, not to cover, but to win. In Josh McD I believe.

Cowboys (-3) over Giants

Dallas at home in their new stadium in primetime versus a huge rival? Have to take them. I hate the Cowboys with every fiber of my being. Go Giants.

Colts (-3) over Miami

SQUISH THE FISH!