Real. Old. Quarterback.

A quick apology to the degenerates out there who were counting on last week’s picks, I was traveling and forgot to post them. But have no fear, week 8 picks are here.

Week 7 picks

49ers (+3) over Texans | Packers (-8) over Browns | Chargers (-5.5) over Chiefs

Colts (-14.5) over Rams | Vikings (+4.5) over Steelers | Patriots (-16) over Yucks

Raiders (+6) over Jets | Bills (-7) over Panthers | Bengals (-2.5) over Bears

Falcons (-4.5) over Cowboys | Saints (-7) over Dolphins | Giants (-7) over Cardinals

Eagles (-8) over Redskins

Week 6 picks: 8 – 6

Through 6 weeks: 49 – 41

Week 7 Picks: 8 – 4 – 1

Season total: 57 – 45 -1

Sports Meister: 57 -42 – 1

Sports Guy: 64 -38 -1

Week 8 Picks

Texans (-4) over Bills

I’ve seen this story one too many times. Buffalo provides a brief glimmer of hope, a spark of excitement that somehow, some way this team can finally reach the playoffs. Playoff teams don’t lose to the Browns. Schaub comes in as the most underrated player of the year and on a team that is getting hot at the right time. If Johnson stays healthy, Slaton holds on to the ball, and the Texans front-seven plays up to their potential, Houston is a team people need to start paying attention to.

Bears (-14) over Browns

I know Chicago has had their fair share of struggles (on both sides of the ball), but there is not better medicine for a slumping team than playing the Cleveland Browns.

Cowboys (-10) over Seahawks

I really want to pick Seattle to cover here. Dallad has looked too good recently and I don’t really know the level they should be playing at. Seattle isn’t a very good team but when Hasselbeck is playing well, they can compete with just about anybody. Stay away from this one.

Lions (-4) over Rams

If I could give you free game tickets, airfare, and lodging in Detroit for this game, would you go?

Colts (-13.5) over 49ers

Big spread but the correct one. San Francisco has come back to reality. They’re a good young team, but they aren’t quite ready for the elite players yet. I love what Singletary is doing and I think Alex Smith is the better option going forward at QB, but this is the Colts at home, against the best quarterback in NFL history. Yes, I said it. I’m willing to defend myself. If you don’t like 6’5 quarterbacks with rocket arms, GTFO.

Jets (-4) over Dolphins

I think both teams are equal on the whole, Miami’s rushing game is arguably the league’s best and New York is another good young team like San Fran that is going to make noise here for the next few years. The game is in the Meadowlands so I’ll go with the J-E-T-S, JETS JETS JETS.

Eagles (-2) over Giants

What a ballgame, easily the game of the week. Like Philadelphia and New York needed another reason to hate each other this week? The Giants are really, really bad in the secondary and the Eagles have lots of weapons downfield. The Giants need constant pressure on McNabb and the Eagles D needs to be careful not to get caught on big plays when blitzing. The game is at the Linc to I’ll go with the City of Brotherly Love in what should be a really entertaining game to watch.

Broncos (+3) over Baltimore

For whatever reason, this Denver team plays hard. They might be in over their heads against a good Baltimore team that desperately needs a win, but a 6-0 record and Josh McDaniels get my support in this one. I want to delete this and pick the Ravens. No, don’t do it. HIT ENTER DAMNIT.

Jaguars (+3) over Titans

I can’t pick an 0-6 favorite with Vince Young at the helm. The VP of Common Sense will not let me.

Raiders (-17) over Chargers

Oakland is due for one of their strange good game and San Diego is due for their often letdown performance against an inferior foe. I see some Phillip Rivers’ pouting in the near future.

Cardinals (-11) over Panthers

This one should be the 17 point line. An anemic Carolina offense and wobbly defense on the road against the best arsenal of receivers in the NFL. Daylight come, me wanna Delhomme.

Packers (-3) over Vikings

Highly anticipated game sees Brett Faveruh return the Frozen Tundra, and I simply can’t root for or pick his team in this game. I’m rooting HUGE for Aaron Rodgers to beat his predecessor and set Lambeau on fire with the biggest party that town has seen since their Super Bowl glory. GO PACK GO!

Saints (-11) over Falcons

An eleven point spread versus a great time like Atlanta is a testament to how good New Orleans is. Find me a better team in the NFL, I’ll wait.

LET’S GO YANKEES!

Fresh off Apple’s redonkulous Q3 numbers and their war declaration on the PC industry with new (sexy) iMac’s, me thinks it is appropriate to talk some Apple. In particular, the mythical Apple Tablet.

If you asked me a year ago if the fabled device was real, I would have said that it had a 50% chance of truth. Six months ago? I would have told you 95% true. Today? The Apple Tablet is 100% alive, and I’m 95% sure it is going to market, possibly as soon as Q1 2010.

Here’s some background on the long-debated existence of the device:

• When Steve Jobs returned to Apple, he shelved a proposed PDA type of product because he didn’t see a use for it. Despite how popular those were for a few years, he was right in that they quickly faded.
• For at least a few years, Apple has been researching and developing a tablet of sorts. The project has multiple rumored code names like ‘iPad’, ‘MacBook Touch’, iProd’, ‘Tablet’, etc etc. For all I know, they’re all true or all fake, not important. Apple had a device in the early 90′s (Steve Jobs no longer at the helm) called the “Newton MessagePad” that was essentially a touch tablet writer. It is belived that the iPhone’s development superceded the tablet and the project was again put on the backburned in 2007.
• Going even further back, to 2003, Apple apparently had a tablet built but it had poor battery life, poor graphics performance, and the components alone were too expensive to market with proper margins. Notably Steve Jobs asked, “What good is it except for surfing the web in the bathroom?”
• There have been multiple prototypes designed over the course of 4-7 years with varying code names. The first built model that resembles the one we might actually see was built at the end of 2008.

So let’s flash forward to present day. Information, not official, has begun to leak in sorts about a new device Apple is working particularly diligently on, with Steve Jobs himself apparently spearheading the operation.

Here’s what we think we know:

• There have been at least three prototype devices built. The first one was 7″ and judged to be too small. The latest screen size everyone seems to agree that Apple is set to launch is a 10.7″ screen.
• It runs iPhone OS, a derivative of standard Mac OS X, and in very many ways looks like an iPhone with a curved back and possible Home button.
• It isn’t meant to compete with the popular trend of NetBooks. Instead, it is meant to expand iTunes and the the iPod’s entertainment functionality to movies, books, newspapers, television, etc. At least one version will also have communication (internet, email, etc) functionality as well.
• And boy are they taking that books/print idea seriously! Apparently, Apple has been in active talks with many media companies about a new device they’re working on. And they’re not just going after ebooks and magazines. Apple is going to try to revolutionize print as we know it. Notables leaked are the New York Times, McGraw Hill, and Oberline Press which are all working to move their content over to iTunes. Books, movies, newspapers, and even textbooks.
• There will apparently be two versions of the Tablet; one with a webcam (presumably iSight) and one for educational use. The webcam version would just be a personal model for home; movies, internet, reading, etc. The educational idea gives greater volumes of possibilities. Think of it from two angles, a publisher and a student. When a publisher sells a book, they only sell it once. Whereas that book is then resold multiple times independently without them ever getting residual revenues. What if they could license a textbook to students directly (iTunes) for only a year and then sell that content again the next year? They’d increase revenues, decrease prices, cut out the middle man (book stores), and be able to introduce new versions in a revolutionary way. Now for the students; what student wouldn’t want a single device to carry all their textbooks on? Books would be cheaper, the device lighter on the carrying load, and more portable for use.
• Pricing seems like it will fall between the $599-$999 range, less than the new MacBooks but still double a standard Netbook.
• There have been rumors of discussion with both AT&T and Verizon (interesting) about providing support for the device but there is no consensus on that.

Many thought the project would simply never gain traction at Apple because of the lofty ambitions it carries. But apparently over the last six months, everything has fallen into place. Jobs, who’s overseeing the project from his home, office and hospital beds, has finally achieved that much-sought aura of satisfaction. Look for the announcement as soon as January in their annual keynote (not MacWorld anymore though) and then I’d expect an iPhone like hype with the thing finally being available in June/July of next year.

Will it be as successful as the iPod and iPhone?

Bigger question: Would you buy one?

Last week: 7 – 7

Season total: 41 – 35

Sports Meister: 41 – 31 ????

Sports Guy: 49 – 27

Bengals (-5) over Texans

This has upset written all over it but I’ll finally show some faith in Cincinnati and pick them at home here. Note of interest, Chad Ochocinco partnered with Motorola to buy a few thousand tickets to ensure the game would be sold out and therefore not blacked out on local television. Say what you want about guys like TO and Ocho Cinco, but they’re never in trouble off the field and entertain us on it.

Packers (-14) over Lions

Green Bay at home has a prime chance to show the NFL what they can really do. Plus Megatron is out possibly for Detroit, severely limiting their ability to move the chains down the field.

Vikings (-3) over Ravens

Great game. I’ll go with the undefeated team at home until I’m proven wrong.

Saints (-3) over Giants

Likely vote for game of the year right here. The Saints have had two whole weeks to prepare and are at home. I’ll go with Payton, Brees, and Co.

Steelers (-14.5) over Browns

If Cleveland can only put up 6 points against Buffalo, then I feel bad for any Browns fan this week.

Panthers (-3) over Yucks

Tampa is the worst team in the league. They don’t get any consideration from me until I see a pulse.

Redskins (-6) over Chiefs

Jim Zorn needs a hug. And a win.

Jaguars (-10) over Rams

St. Louis is so terrible. When is the last time in the NFL there were this many atrocious teams?

Cardinals (+3) over Seahawks

We’ll see if Arizona can keep their stride and if Seattle was for real with their trouncing of Jacksonville last week.

Eagles (-15) over Raiders

“Is John Madden available? No? Can we move to Los Angeles? No? Damnit. Can we move to the UFL??” — Al Davis

Patriots (-9.5) over Titans

Tennessee is probably going to be 0-6. Who in the hell saw that coming? Chris Johnson is due to break loose this week.

Bills (-10) over Jets

Why not right?

Falcons (-3) over Bears

I’m picking this solely for Balloon Boy.

Broncos (+3) over Chargers

I believe in Josh McD.

Seems strange right? In a league with the likes of Oakland, St. Louis, Detroit, and Cleveland, that Buffalo could be the single worst organization in the NFL.

I’m a diehard Bills fan, but I’m just broken. I was bent when Miami beat us 38-10 in an abysmal performance last week. But after watching Sunday’s 6-3 loss to the Browns at home, I am just broken. As hard as it is, one must ponder, are the Bills the league’s worst franchise?

Where do I start? Where do we go from here? What hasn’t been discussed over this decade long period of complete failure? We have exhausted every possible conversation. The coach, the quarterback, the running backs, lines, defense, scouting department, ownership, strength and conditioning, the stadium, the division, Toronto, being a small market…anything that could have been discussed to figure out this team has been reviewed, in great detail, for far too long.

I write this on a Wednesday afternoon. The Bills are 1-4 and head to the Meadowlands to play the Jets Sunday. I think we’ll be 1-5.

We have a head coach, who just defines failure in every possible way. A coach who was given a contract extension prematurely after a hot start last year and is now due $9 million over the next three seasons. Dick Jauron is a noble man of intelligence and integrity, but the man is simply a terrible, terrible head football coach. Nothing in his career has been good except for a fluke year with Chicago. He’s 58-81 with only one winning season. With Buffalo, he is something like 2-24 against teams with a winning record. His teams are consistently one of the most injured in the entire league because he doesn’t have any contact in training camp. And he doesn’t provide any kind of strategic success or emotional motivation for a team he is supposed to be leading. Somewhere Turk Schonert is laughing. He really looked like Monday at his press conference that he couldn’t believe he still had a job. He was genuinely surprised that he wasn’t fired. He has lost the team and long ago lost the fanbase. I look at the likes of Josh McDaniels, Mike Tomlin, Mike Singletary… coaches that “get it”. The Buffalo Bills and Dick Jauron just don’t get it. Some say Jauron should resign- would you walk away from ~$8 million?

The quarterback is the first place fans usually look for blame. Luckily for Trent Edwards, Jauron is so bad that his punishment hasn’t been as bad as what it could be. I like Trent Edwards, I’ve discussed this many times. And I think he can be a winning quarterback in the NFL. He isn’t going to put up huge fantasy numbers but he can manage a game and lead a successful football team. He has been bad so far, more like terrible, but I really believe Buffalo has a lot more problems to address than quarterback.

Our interior offensive line is fine with me. The problems are that our two tackles are the worst in football. They are all hurt, they were cut by us at one point, have almost zero NFL experience, and are giving Trent about 3 seconds before he is forced to scramble or is sacked. They traded Peters, I didn’t have a problem with it. They cut Langston Walker, I didn’t have a problem with it, but when you realize you are overmatched, you better do something about it. The Bills have done nothing. And that echoes of larger organizational problems.

High school teams have better athletes playing linebacker than the Buffalo Bills have. I know, their starters are hurt, so you go out and get new players! Keith Ellison couldn’t even make another team playing special teams and he is going to be our starting middle linebacker this week. It is really amazing. It is epic how bad we are.

Shawn Nelson could be a future star in the NFL, a 50 catch type tight end, and we have him running special teams! A place where he will probably break a leg and doom his potential success. Another example of how poor Buffalo talent evaluation is.

But back to my original point about being the league’s worst organization.

Detroit? Gorgeous new stadium, not afraid to spend money on a gun-slinging quarterback, a freak talent at wide receiver, and a new head coach that relates to the team and city and shows a pulse on the sideline.

Cleveland? Yeah they suck, but they just beat us didn’t they?

St. Louis and Oakland are probably a step below the Bills. Oakland is run by a ludicrous owner who doesn’t understand the NFL. He drafted a fast player who has more names than catches this year. St. Louis has lost like 15 straight games and is allegedly up for sale, possibly to Rush Limbaugh. They’re worse, but how much worse? We have an owner calling the shots who simply shouldn’t be at this point (Oakland) and a team that will probably be up for sale within a few years (St. Louis). We also have no willingness to spend money, show no dedication to the fans who consistently sell out games, when a 4-1 Cincinatti team faces a blackout this week, while the Bills have lost 8 of 9 at home…all sellouts of course.

The Buffalo Bills are real content to lay low and cash Mr. Wilson’s checks. Same goes for the players who praise Jauron because he doesn’t bench anyone, fine anyone, criticize anyone, or make anyone actually work hard in training camp. And from top-to-bottom, no one stands up to Ralph because he is the “decider”, the fickle owner who could change his mind at any point. I love the man. His commitment to football in Buffalo is an accomplishment that deserves the highest of praise.

But let me point something out. When Yankee’s owner George Steinbrenner began showing signs of the aging process, the organization didn’t let him linger with their on-field product. Cashman, Levine, and his sons sprang to action quickly and respectfully for a power shift within the organization that ensured a continued competitive product and a quiet shift that dignified “The Boss”.

There was a really great article in the Buffalo News that compared the Buffalo Bills to General Motors. Everyone says that GM went bad because their cars sucked right? Well the article brilliantly argues the cars were simply a byproduct of GM management. So as fans look at the on-field Bills product, we complain that the players are the problem. Maybe we should look at management that brought them here instead?

Here is how this is going to play out. The Bills will either fire Jauron soon and replace him with Bobby April in the interim basis. I think they will keep Dick, just because the season is a wash anyway, and he might as well go down with the ship, and all the games are basically sold out anyway. So Buffalo will fire him in the offseason and try to bring in a new coach. Cowher won’t come because he will have a cushy job waiting for him in Carolina. Shanahan is a longshot but the Bills could be the type of team he takes on in a challenge if the money is right (It won’t be). Gruden is a logical replacement because the fans here would love him and with his huge ego he would own this town, plus his asking price would be doable for Ralph. Then the Bills will use their high draft pick on an extremely marketable college player that will sell tickets. So Bills fans will come back for another year and sell out every game based on the prospects of a new coach and new star rookie (Tebow?).

Here’s how it should play out. The Bills should fire Jauron yesterday. Trade Terrell Owens and someone like Roscoe Parrish and you have already covered Jauron’s salary over the next three years while acquiring a couple draft picks for those players. How about that ~$70 million from the Toronto deal? FORBES indicates an operating income of ~$40 million… we really can’t part with 8 mil to get rid of an inept head coach? Next, immediately promote Bobby April to interim head coach. Fans will rejoice Jauron being gone and maybe we can even string a few wins together to make Buffalo fans at least feel a little better. Fans like April’s enthusiasm and will give us something to watch for the rest of the year. There is no way the Bills don’t have a top-10 pick. If the Bills play great under April, consider making him the full-time head coach, at least let him interview for the position. Fire all scouting personnel (You suck Modrak), fire all strength and conditioning coaches, fire all defensive and offensive coaches, and branch out to a Mike Shanahan or Bill Cowher or Mike Holmgren to run football operations, and actually coach if they want to. Make Russ Brandon the organizational director in charge of the business side (completely replacing Ralph). Get that big name coach to bring in his own staff. Spend that high draft pick on the best offensive tackle available. Spend some money on free agents and try to at least bring back some vitality to the organization.

2009 is a failure. 2010 is an uncapped year, and Buffalo probably won’t spend the money to be able to compete, and then in 2011 the NFL is looking at the very real possibility of a lengthy lockout. Jerry Jones has already said publicly revenue sharing will be decreased or phased out as bigger markets want to improve their organizations without carrying the likes of the Bills and co. Ralph Wilson is 91 this week, human mortality can’t guarantee his ownership forever. His family intends to sell the team when his time comes, and then it is up to some brave soul to pony up the ~$1 billion to keep the team local. Jim Kelly claims he has a group, I think that’s him trying to stay relevant and optimistic. I can’t see him having a group with a billion ready to go. Tom Golisano probably would be an option but he would have to sell the Sabres (which would be next to impossible to do) and bring in additional investors because even he can’t afford the $1B tag an NFL franchise goes for. Of course there will be others willing to spend the money with the intention of moving the team but I don’t even want to consider that possibility at this point.

All I know is that the Buffalo Bills, a once-proud organization, have turned into a pathetic excuse of a relevant franchise. They have no direction or plan, unlimited questions, shaky financial foundations, and increasingly hostile fan relations. For the first time, I am not optimistic on the franchise’s future. And for the first time, I view the Buffalo Bills among the worst organizations in the entire league.

"Why are you always telling me to go f@#* a goat, man?"

A quarter of a way through the season already. I have 12 teams out of contention…leaving 20 teams playing for 12 playoffs spots.

Best 4-0 team: New York Giants

Best 3-1 team: New England Patriots

Best 2-2 team: Green Bay Packers

Best 1-3 team: THE BUFFALO BILLS!

Best 0-4 team: Tennessee Titans

1st Quarter MVP: Peyton Manning

1st Quarter Rookie: Mark Sanchez (Michael Oher deserves praise)

1st Quarter Coach: Josh McDaniels (Sorry Singletary)

Last week: 5 – 9 (Yikes)

Season total: 34 – 28

Sports Meister: 34 – 26 (Your site is fugly & you’re 2 games off…nice)

Sports Guy: 39 – 23

PICKS!

Bills (-6) over Browns

When is the last time a 1-3 team coming off a 28 point loss has been a 6 point favorite the next week? The Bills make up records to break. I think about 40% of Bills fans want to lose this game to be a final exclamation point that Dick Jauron should be fired. I agree that he needs to go, but it is only week 5. At this point last year, Bills fans had Super Bowl aspirations. We’re only a quarter of the way through, I think we can still turn it around. Or we might really suck as a team but can at least beat Tampa and Cleveland, IMHO the worst two teams in the league. Interesting point of note here, Ralph Wilson will be honored at halftime for his Hall of Fame induction and if the Bills are losing at halftime, could he possibly get booed? Seriously, after a morning of Blue’s and a first half of possible frustration, it may happen. If you’re going to the game, don’t you dare be one of those people. Mr. Wilson’s commitment to Buffalo football overrides our recent frustrations (and his senility).

Lions (+11) over Steelers

Upset special? Maybe. I like Detroit’s young offense and they may be able to keep it close at home this week. Probably not.

Chiefs (+9) over Cowboys

Another scene where I think the home underdog could surprise a team that is overlooking them. Not to win, but to cover. The Chiefs offense has to get going at some point right? RIGHT??

Vikings (-11) over Rams

Remember when I said Tampa and Cleveland were the two worst teams in the league? Let’s replace the Browns with the Rams there. Which probably means the Bills will lose. Bobby April in the interim and Jon Gruden next year. Done and done.

Raiders (+16) over Giants

Why not right? Manning is  little banged up and the Raiders defense isn’t the worst. I’m just going to pick anyone this week getting more than 10 points. (Ed. note- Please don’t bet based on Dan’s idiotic picks)

Eagles (-16) over Buccaneers

Yeah, scratch that theory. Side note, for whatever reason I benched Desean Jackson in fantasy in favor of Lee Evans (I know, I know) when he went off earlier this year. Now that he is back in my lineup, I can almost guarantee he gets about 30 yards on 2 catches while Lee has a 75 yard touchdown. Ok I convinced myself, Evans again it is!

Panthers (-5) over Redskins

I think it is time for Carolina to put a decent game together. Too much firepower on offense to be this bad for this long. Washington is the most unhappy 2-2 team I’ve ever seen.

Ravens (-8.5) over Bengals

Really struggled with this choice (meaning I spent more than 10 seconds thinking about it). Cincinatti has been tough in every single game and the Ravens aren’t exactly an offensive juggernaut. I just think that Ravens defense will slow Carson and Ochocinco down this week. 85 has promised a “Ricky Bobby” celebration if he scores a touchdown. Yes, I’m interested and yes, I hope it happens.

Falcons (+3) over 49ers

Coming off a bye week, look for Atlanta to surprise the upstart 49ers with a nice little smack back to reality. Oh, there goes Rabbit, oh…nevermind.

Jaguars (+2) over Seattle

Weird line. Too weird. Let’s just move on.

Cardinals (-5.5) over Texans

This is the week Arizona finally looks like the team that went to the Super Bowl last year. A nice bounce back at home versus a hard to figure Houston team will put them back on the NFL map.

Patriots (-3) over Broncos.

I am just done picking against New England. Just done with it. Coach William insists Josh McD is smarter than him. I’ve read The Art of War Bill, don’t bullshit a bullshitter.

Colts (-5) over Titans

Tennessee is bound to play well sooner or later right? I mean, 0-4, really? At what point do they let Vince Young do his thing to see if he can be their future QB? Is there any pressure on Jeff Fisher or is he just too trusted to feel the hot seat? Weird situation.

Jets (-2.5) over Dolphins

The Jets are for real and Miami is not. Enjoy your football and your Autumn week.

A couple points:

• The NFL is putting up insane, just insane, ratings thus far into the early ’09 campaign. The Sunday night game is pulling American Idol finale like ratings. Dick Ebersol has got to be walking on air these days. Think about Monday night’s ratings with Favre vs the Packers. Maybe it is because the baseball playoffs have been decided for six weeks or people are watching games at home instead of going out, but it’s just mind-bottling.
• There are ten teams that are dead in the water already. 22 teams now vie for 12 playoff positions.
• I think Adrian Peterson needs to start running smarter or he simply won’t stay healthy. He’s reckless with his shoulders and puts his helmet down far too often. Note to AP, you can just run out of bounds!
• There are some coaches in football, actually some organizations in general, that simply don’t understand today’s NFL. The Bills are one of these teams. Sean Payton went for it on 4th down multiple times last week, even in the first quarter. Whereas Dick Jauron punts on 4th and 1, down ten points, with seven minutes to go in the 4th quarter. TO raised his arms saying, ‘What the hell?”, 60% of the fans simply walked out, and the defense simply gave up because Jauron was clearly not trying to win the game. I love Ralph Wilson and his commitment to Buffalo football, but he shouldn’t be the one making football operations decisions. He cut Langston Walker to save money, stays with Dick Jauron because he is cheap and won’t question his actions, and gives Russ Brandon no power to do anything other than approve marketing decisions. I think Russ Brandon is a really smart guy. I want the Bills to retain him because he is one of those people that you know will go on to having success with another organization. He is just not empowered to move Jauron. That’s it. I’m not writing off the Bills, far from it, they could very easily be 5-3 at their bye due to a favorable upcoming schedule, but everything I’ve seen in these three games still screams vanilla. Same Jauron, same Bills, same 7-9 mediocrity. I really hope I’m wrong.

Last Week: 11-5

Overall: 29-19

Sports Meister: 26-22

Sports Guy: 34-14 (Just a stupidly luckily start Simmons)

PICKS PICKS PICKS PICKS!

Ravens (+2) over Patriots

Betting against New England? At home? ANARCHY! I even think this is a little nuts but the Ravens have looked like a Super Bowl team and the Patriots have simply looked like a playoff team. Joe Flacco is really coming into his own as an NFL quarterback and can exploit the holes in New England’s very average defense. This should be a great game and may finally tilt the balance of power in the AFC. Maybe.

Redskins (-7.5) over Yucks..er, Bucs

If Washington can’t cover 7 over the league’s worst team, Jason Campbell and Jim Zorn might be stuffed in a suitcase and shipped to Tanzania via a Daniel Snyder chartered jet.

Titans (-3) over Jaguars

This whole division is just plain wacky thus far. I look for Tennessee to get off the schnide, on the road, as a favorite – I’m so stupid.

Texans (-8.5) over Raiders

I am staying firmly put on the Houston bandwagon, I don’t care how fickle or inept they seem to play. They’re at home against the league’s worst organization versus the league’s worst starting quarterback. Send a message Schaub!

Bears (-10) over Lions

Chicago at home should roll over a very poor Detroit defense.  Detroit is taking big strides on the offensive side of the ball, but that won’t help them stop Jay Cutler and Matt Forte. Note to Forte; wake up this week, fantasy owners are counting on you.

Bengals (-6.5) over Browns

Thought about making this my upset of the week and then I realized the Bengals have a very underrated defense and a healthy Carson Palmer.

Colts (-11) over Seahawks

What the hell is up with these huge spreads? Go with Peyton Manning (my NFL MVP frontrunner) at home over a suddenly crappy Seattle team.

Giants (-10) over Chiefs

Another monster spread. If KC could get some weather interference, some fan enthusiasm, a good day out of Cassel, and well played defense, they could probably only lose by 20 or so.

Jets (+8) over Saints

Don’t call it an upset. The Jets defense is forrealz and they are going to make sure everyone knows it this week when they shut down the NFL’s best offense. If the Bills can slow down Drew Brees and Co, Rex Ryan sure as hell can too.

Bills (-1.5) over Dolphins

I am almost insulted that this line is so close but it echoes the national sentiments around this Bills franchise. By all realistic expectations, the Bills should win this game by 20 points, especially with Pennington out. But we’re the Bills, and this could be a classic trap game. If we lose this game, Western NY is going to riot and panic to extreme lengths.

Cowboys (-3) over Broncos

I no longer believe in Josh McD. This Denver team, is without question, the single worst 3-0 team in NFL history.

49ers (-10) over Rams

“Taste it. Chew on it. Digest it.” — Coach Singletary

Chargers (-7) over Steelers

Upset alert. Panic button in Steel City?

Packers (+4) over Vikings

I think the Vikings will cover, but I can’t in good faith make that kind of deal with the devil (Favre). Go Rodgers, and GO PACK GO!