Last week: 9 – 6 – 1

Season total: 111 – 109 – 4 (Are these adding up?)

Sports Meister: 117 – 104 – 3 (I should make a GPA joke right about now)

Sports Guy: 115 – 104 – 4 (What a late season drop-off. That’s what the NBA does to Simmons.)

Chargers (-3.5) over Titans

Even Chris Johnson can’t stop Rivers in December. Can Norv Turner finally make some playoff noise?

Bills (+9.5) over Falcons

Let the Brian Brohm era commence. For the love of all things holy, throw for 300 yards! For those that are not enlightened, the Bills haven’t had a 300 yard passer in over 50 games. Seriously. Oh, and they’re probably going to become the first team in 30 years to not have a 2000 yard passer, 1000 yard rusher, or 1000 yard receiver. It’s miserable.

Bengals (-13.5) over Chiefs

If I were actually betting this, I’d probably take Kansas City. Something tells me Cincy is due for a letdown game. But the safe pick is the safe pick.

Raiders (+3) over Browns

Is there anything more random than Jerome Harrison going off for 286 yards last week? I’ve never seen a baby do that before.

Packers (-14) over Seahawks

Is there an Aaron Rodgers fan-club? If so, would one kind soul send me the appropriate literature? Thanks.

Texans (+2) over Dolphins

Both teams need this game to be playoff sniffing come week 17, so I will stick with my preseason guns and try to pick Houston again. They’re killing me, but I’ll go down with the ship. Two rookie corners versus Schaub/Johnson.

Patriots (-9.5) over Jaguars

Tis the season for the Grinch (Bill/Tommy) to do their winning end of season ways. Despite the excellence of the Colts and Bolts, does anyone want to face the Patriots on the path to Miami?

Saints (-13.5) over Yucks

The Saints need a statement game following their loss to Dallas. Luckily for them, Tampa is a greasy hangover snack.

Giants (-8) over Panthers

The Giants have been rooted in turmoil and struggle all year but finally might have it clicking when they need it most. GGGGGG-MEN!

Ravens (+3) over Steelers

I’m excited about this game. Huge divisional rivalry with playoff implications. Good stuff. No, great stuff.

Cardinals (-15) over Rams

I would rather be a Bills fan that have to root for St. Louis. It is that bad.

Lions (+14) over 49ers

You don’t try to blow up a plane to Detroit. You just don’t do it!  Let’s go Lions!!

Colts (-5) over Jets

Listen folks, the Colts want desperately to go undefeated. They hate the Patriots and want to steal anything they may have. They’ll loot and plunder New England’s place in history by any means possible. Behind those Gandhi appearances, Caldwell and Manning more accurately resemble Attila the Hun.

Eagles (-7) over Broncos

Andy Reid was so busy prepping for this game that he ignored his level 80 Night Elf for over 48 hours. Beware the Eagle NFC.

Cowboys (-7) over Redskins

I will take January 22nd in the Mike Shanahan to Washington pool.

Vikings (-7) over Bears

Brett Favre with late seaon drama. YOU DON’T SAY!

Last week: 9 -7

Season total: 102 – 103 – 3

Sports Meister: 109 – 97 – 2

Sports Guy: 109 – 96 – 3

Colts (-3) over Jaguars

I’m picking undefeated teams no matter what,

Saints (-8) over Cowboys

Oooops.

Patriots (-7.5) over Bills

As a Bills fan, there is no reason to think Buffalo can win this game. If Perry Fewell does pull this miracle out of his hat, he becomes a legitimate coaching candidate for the long-term at One Bills Drive.

Cardinals (-13) over Lions

Arizona needs a bounce-back game from their terrible effort Monday night and I’m just a about done picking the Lions to cover.

Dolphins (+5.5) over Titans

Dear fantasy gods, don’t let my 11-2 team lose to a 6-7 team in the semifinals. Let Chris Johnson rush for 400 yards. Do this, and all will be right with the world. Be sure to monitor lunar activity also.

Chiefs (-2) over Browns

Spike Lee has a new movie coming out: “Jamaal Charles Doin Work.”

Rams (+14) over Texans

Hey, uh fantasy gods, Dan again. Could you by chance also limit Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson’s production today? Thanks, you’re the best.

Falcons (+7) over Jets

J-E-T-S, Suck Suck Suck! Just kidding, I’m only bitter. But I’m rooting for Hotlanta.

Raiders (+14) over Broncos

Has their been a more fickle team this year than Oakland? The answer is no.

Bengals (-7.5) over Chargers

San Diego might be the best team in the league. The pick is for Cincy getting the win for the late Chris Henry.

Eagles (-8) over 49ers

The Fightin Amish need another big week out of DeSean Jackson. Maybe I’m getting a little greedy with this fantasy push. Moving on.

Packers (+3.5) over Steelers

Why not right? Go Pack Go!

Seahawks (-7) over Yucks

Tampa is just awful. Just plain poor.

Ravens (-11) over Bears

Gay Butler can’t do it by himself.

Vikings (-9) over Panthers

Me thinks one could have a strong argument that Minnesota is the best team in the NFC.

Giants (-3) over Redskins

Must win status for the G-Men. And the Bills lose Mike Shanahan. (Heavy sigh).

Meme: (as per Urban Dictionary)

an idea, belief or belief system, or pattern of behavior that spreads throughout a culture either vertically by cultural inheritance (as by parents to children) or horizontally by cultural acquisition (as by peers, information media, and entertainment media)

Internet Meme: (as per Urban Dictionary)

A short phrase, picture, or combination of the two that gets repeated in message boards and for far, far longer than anything ever ought to be. Imagine a small child being surprised by a jack-in-the-box every single time the toy springs out and you’ll have a fairly good idea of what the collective internet considers witty.

So we come to the end of 2009. Many of us had hoped we’d have flying cars by now, or at least a Doc Brown time machine! Cool thing is about this year, a select few of the minute-to-minute blips that try and strike a chord within the viral video culture actually, you know, went viral.

And so the webs adorn attention to the average. The culturally mundane, but noticeably relevant. Not Cronkite or King of Pop, but of the real life common ground. And after all, isn’t that what the internet is good for?

Who doesn’t love a list?

Honorable Mention: Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee, Susan Boyle, & Balloon Boy.

5) Beyonce Dancing Baby

Babies are frequently the source of both viral (and human) legacy. Let’s put the children first folks. This video, featuring baby Cory from New Zealand (then just 13 months old), became viral right after the VMAs. I mean, every human on earth must find a smile in these events, right? Kids got swagger!!

4) Christian Bale Potty-Mouth

In February, someone leaked an audio recording of actor Christian Bale going ballistic on a crew member. The actual demeaning nature of the comments was probably uncalled for but the hysteria of the message lives on. It’s actually pretty hilarious. “OH GOOD FOR YOU!”

3) David After Dentist

The story is exactly like it sounds. Young David went to the dentist to get a tooth pulled and was treated with some pretty heavy sedatives. Armed with a Flip Cam and a good sense of humor, David’s Dad decided to videotape the aftermath. One of 2009′s firs big meme’s, the video spawned such hits as David After Divorce and many others. I’ve been in many tense moments where I echoed David’s sentiments of, “Is this real life?”

2) JK Wedding Dance

When the video first hit the web in late July, the awesomely choreographed dance by the super-cool wedding party down the aisle during Jill and Kevin’s wedding became a huge hit, especially after being featured on the Today Show. Then the video went super-viral.  In October, NBC’s ‘The Office’ recreated the dance with cast members of “The Office” for Jim and Pam’s much anticipated wedding. The homage proved a huge uptick for the video (assuming Office fans flocked to the origin). The popularity also spread to embattled R&B singer Chris Brown, who’s single, “Forever”, climbed the charts after both hits went increasingly viral.

1) Kanye West and Taylor Swift at the VMA’s

Video here. Thanks for the lack of viral trust MTV. (BTW, Your station sucks)

We can all thank Kanye West for providing us so much endless entertainment. The guy makes hits and no one can deny his talent. Even his counter-part in all of this is getting increasingly lame with her, “WHAT?!? I WON?!? (shy face) I’m so humbled, I can’t believe it! I want to thank everyone that bought a Fearless ticket and all of my Twitter followers”. Taylor, you’re a star, quit acting like a you’re 12 years old love. Even Obama called Kanye a “Jackass” for these events. It provided MTV.com with a record number of unique views. All in all, “Yo world, I’m happy for you and I’m gonna let you finish, but I had one of the best meme’s of all-time!” — Kanye West

Jeff "The Real Situation" Reed

Last week: 8 – 8

Season total: 93 – 96 – 3

Sports Meister: 99 – 91 – 2

Sports Guy: 101 – 88 – 3

Browns (+13) over Steelers

I expected the Browns to get close to their cover at home in bad weather on a short week. I didn’t expect them to win. To see the Steelers lose five straight games just doesn’t seem real. They’re officially out of the playoffs with their remaining schedule, their interior lines have corroded, and questions remain across the board. They have pieces. They have coaching, a quarterback, skill players, a secondary, and less aging problems than other teams of their caliber- so what is it? The kickoff coverage might be the worst in NFL history for starters. Big Ben’s concussion should draw some concerns. Hines Ward calling out his QB isn’t Steelers typical. Sometimes things just don’t go right. The 2009 Steelers just didn’t go right.

Saints (-11.5) over Falcons

Last week I picked the Falcons at home because they were undefeated there. They lost 34-7 to Andy Reid’s perpetual cycle of success. So this week, I go back to the VP of Common Sense and realize Chris Redman isn’t a very good QB. Matty Ice has to be excited about Gillette dropping Tiger. And Sean Payton has said publicly his team will try to go 16-0. So, sorry to Atlanta and their generically named Head Coach.

Packers (-4.5)  over Bears

Chalk this seemingly too close line to division rivals in December always playing a tough game. The Packers are clearly the better  unit and seem to be playoff bound. Their record isn’t even indicative of how good it could be with tough losses early in the season. Clay Matthews has to be the front-runner for Defensive Rookie of the Year right?

Colts (-7) over Broncos

I’ve been pushing the “Peyton Manning is the best QB ever” card heavily this year and the movement got its first piece of traction this week. Former Colt WR (and current Bronco) Brandon Stokley echoed my sentiments. Mike Nolan has his hands full this week.

Chiefs (-1) over Bills

Here’s the dilemma: These are the types of games Buffalo wins. When they’re already gone from postseason discussion they beat teams and hurt their draft position. But the VP of Common Sense came knocking and told me the Bills have the league’s worst defense, Ryan Fitzpatrick at QB, and are playing against a deceptively dangerous Kansas City offense with Cassel, Chambers, and Charles; or C cubed. Do I have to watch this game?

Vikings (-6.5) over Bengals

Nice match-up here. I like Cincinnati but I think Minnesota, and Favre in particular, need to make a statement game at home against a good foe to alleviate fan and media concerns. Not having Percy Harvin in the offensive mix should hurt downfield production but the Vikes still have #28 in the backfield.

Panthers (+13) over Patriots

Classic trap spread. Trouble in New England. Rumors of discipline concerns, broken relationships, etc. Then giving up 13 to a poor team. I have to pick Carolina but I wouldn’t be shocked to see the Patriots win this game 48-13. Which would be a very bad happening since my #1 seeded Fightin Amish play against Tommy Terrific in the first round of my fantasy playoffs. BTW, Brady had a kid this week. It’ll look something between this and this. Take it easy out there Bill, don’t run it up, that child needs his Dad healthy, and I need him under 300 yards.

Jets (-3.5) over Yucks

The Jets will run the ball all day. Good news for them: Tampa can’t stop the run. Wondering if Tampa would remove Raheem Morris after only one year on the job. There is an abundance of free agent coaching talent currently out there.

Jaguars (+3.5) over Dolphins

I wonder how many fans will be at this game. 40,000? Seriously. Jacksonville has a decent run stop defense and I think largely Miami is overrated. These teams are very familiar to one another. From coaching to running backs to bland quarterbacks, to lack of WR talent, to above-average defenses. Should probably be a close game.

Lions (+14.5) over Ravens

Not really anything else here than a lack of respect for Baltimore’s offense and a chance to root for Detroit. Let’s go Lions! COVER PLEASE COVER!

Seahawks (+7.5) over Texans

I’m finally coming to grips with the failure of a season in Houston. Sorry Kubiak, but this team has the talent to go to the playoffs right now. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see owner Bob McNair pull the plug on Kubiak and get in on the quest for a coach carousel.

Titans (-13) over Rams

Chris Johnson > St. Louis’ entire 52-man roster

Raiders (+1) over Redskins

Remember when these were beloved and relevant franchises? Me neither.

Chargers (+3.5) over Cowboys

Great game. The difference? It’s Dallas in December and San Diego in December. Look that up and you’ll understand my pick.

Eagles (-1.5) over Giants

Colossal Sunday night game for battle position in the NFC East. This game is essentially rendered “must win” for both parties. The Giants were thoguht to be out of it but had a great win last week to keep them in the hunt. Philadelphia hasn’t really been the model of consistency this season, but they still have a ton of talent on both sides of the ball and the most underrated Coach/QB combo in NFL history. Chew on it.

Cardinals (-4) over 49ers

The Cardinals are rolling and we can finally put the dirt on the 2009 San Francisco season. I like what they’re doing with Coach Singletary and emerging player personnel. They need a franchise quarterback first and foremost which they’ll probably be able to address in the draft given the weak quarterback class that’ll be available. If they can grab Sam Bradford for example, they won’t hesitate to make that pick.

3rd Quarter Awards

MVP – Peyton Manning

It seems like a two-man race between Manning and Brees taking their undefeated teams down the stretch here, but watch out for Favre and Chris Johnson making their cases as the seasons draws to a close.

Coach – Jim Caldwell

The first year coach has his team undefeated and staying admirably humble. Yes they’ve had some close games, and yes they have Peyton Manning, but the way Caldwell has run this team has been nothing short of fantastic. Sean Payton will also be in the discussion.

Rookie – Percy Harvin

Harvin is the pick at this point because his team is playing well, but there are at least 10 people close that could surpass him with strong finishes to the year. Knowshon Moreno, Austin Collie, and Jeremy Maclin come to mind offhand.

Week 12 picks: 6 – 10 (I’m so glad this is almost over)

Season total: 85 – 88 – 3

Sports Meister: 93 – 81 – 2

Sports Guy: 97 – 76 – 3

Jets (-2.5) over Buffalo

Watching this game was just a brutal turn of events. I had to go out and watch it because the NFL Network and Time Warner don’t play nice. The bar filled up to such extreme proportions that you couldn’t order a drink. The game itself was almost as monotonous as the 6-3 Browns loss and the lackluster Toronto crowd depressed the hell out of me. I left at halftime because I was more excited to watch Oregon – Oregon St. Yep, the life of a Bills fan.

Falcons (+5.5) over Eagles

Possibly the first time I’ve picked against Philadelphia this season but Atlanta is 5-0 at home and in desperate straits for a win to remain in the competitive NFC playoff picture. Not having Desean Jackson in the lineup means that Jeremy Maclin and Jason Avant have to step up for Donovan McNabb.

Rams (+9.5) over Bears

Until Chicago proves that they can score points and actually stop the rock, there is no sense in picking them regardless of the spread. No Harris, No Urlacher, No offensive line, and no legitimate downfield targets for Cutler equates to a disappointing year in the Windy City.

Lions (+14) over Bengals

I can’t seem to catch Cincinnati in the right week but I’ll try, try again. Cedric Benson seems like he’s back which puts recently acquired Larry Johnson back on the bench following a 100 yard performance last week. Will that sit well with LJ? OchoCinco has also promised a fine-worthy touchdown celebration if he hits paydirt today, just a heads-up.

Colts (-7) over Titans

I like Chris Johnson, he’s alone carrying my fantasy team, but I still think this Tennessee run has been a bit of a mirage. I don’t think Vince Young will have sustained success in this league but I hope I’m wrong about that. Peyton Manning needs about 300 yards to move past Warren Moon for 4th all-time in passing yards. This isn’t a guy winding down in his career, he’s the MVP frontrunner and he’s about to be 4th all-time. Absolutely amazing player. Can the Colts stop the NFL’s hottest team and remain undefeated? Should at the least be entertaining.

Broncos (-6.5) over Chiefs

I’ve been trying to root for Kansas City all year but there is just too great a shortage of talented personnel. Pioli and Haley will right the ship, fear not Chefs fans, they’re smart guys. Josh McDaniels need a win to at least pressure the super-hot San Diego Super Chargers.

Patriots (-4) over Dolphins

Belicheck and Brady coming off a devastating loss against a Ronnie Brown devoid Miami team only giving up 4 points? Seems like a no-brainer, which is your typical spread trap bet. Let’s move on.

Raiders (+15) over Steelers

One of these weeks, Oakland is going to cover a spread. Other point of interest, there is a billboard in outside of Los Angeles asking Al Davis to step down from his role as General Manager. Things as a Bills fan could be worse, could be a Raiders fan.

Saints (-10) over Redskins

Here’s hoping the trouncing New Orleans put on New England Monday night carries over to today’s game. Brees relaunched his MVP candidacy Monday night and to sustain that momentum he needs a big-game. Reggie Bush is back and the Redskins lack a certain level of enthusiasm at this point. Has the makings of a blowout written all over it. If it gets out of hand, is Jim Zorn fired tomorrow?

Panthers (-5) over Yucks

To quote the Sports Meister’s blog verbatim: “I’d like to quote Joe Namath here, but with a minor substitution, “I could care less about the NFC South bottom tier teams ‘strug-a-ling.’” He’s a quality, class quarterback. A thrower, not a passer. Joe Namath- single most overrated player in the history of sports.

Texans (+3) over Jaguars

Jacksonville has been that tease in the bar that is showing more skin than the other girls in the place and keeps flirting with you but you secretly know the situation is going nowhere. At some point, the Texans need to put all their talent together. If I’m Steve Slaton, I’m real worried about Ryan Moats getting the start today. If I’m Gary Kubiak, I’m real worried about my billionaire boss who is praying to Tebow for a franchise first playoff berth.

Chargers (-14) over Browns

I suppose I should probably start picking San Diego. I’m not real happy about it, and I don’t think this team will make any noise in the playoffs, but they’re playing Cleveland.

Cowboys (+2) over Giants

New York just doesn’t have it this year. Since Manning hurt his foot he hasn’t been the same. The secondary is in shreds and the offensive weapons aren’t translating to sustained success over the course of a season. Dallas is a good team, not a great team. I think they only have one player that can be called ‘great’ (Ware). They probably won’t be able to win when it counts but I like their chances of beating a down division rival.

49ers (+1) over Seahawks

I could care less about NFC West teams strug-a-ling. These teams suck.

Vikings (-4) over Cardinals

Brett Favre has been simply amazing over the past few weeks. Now all he needs to do is get popped for doing 100 in his ’91 pickup to really be a team player!

Packers (-4) over Ravens

I wrote that Baltimore was one of seven teams I thought could win the Super Bowl a few weeks ago, I suppose that wasn’t the best foresight. Aaron Rodgers is playing at an absurd level right now and I couldn’t be happier for him. I hope he breaks all of Favre’s single season Green Bay records, as he’s on track to do it. Is Donald Driver a Hall of Famer?